Moving on

We had just finished some soft toss drills, fielding drills, showing the kids how to slide into bases without killing themselves, and the obligatory baserunning to end practice last night. I kept everyone busy and moving through the action to take my mind off the fact that I was missing the first period of Game 7, in which the Caps would vanquish the Pens and move on to the conference finals. I was wearing my Backstrom shirt (not jersey--no way am I shelling out 2 1/2 bills for an oversize sweater), a red beacon on the green field.

When we ended practice the kids gathered round my phone as I pulled up the score, only to see my face fall as it read 2-0 Pens after the first period. We gathered the equipment, scattered home, and by the time I walked in the house (about 1/4 mile from the field), it was already 4-0 and Varly was on the bench. 5-0 5 minutes later. Game, series, season over 3 goals ago. Brutal.

During the post-game shake Ovie told his arch nemesis Sid that he hoped they would go on and win the Cup. Little did I know how much this small sentiment represented an attitude shift that I experienced earlier in the week.

The reason I love hockey above almost every other sport, despite the fact that I've never played it and can hardly skate 10 strides without hugging the boards is because of the immense respect that these guys have for each other despite the naked and chilling aggression that they display on the ice while the competition is on. Winners shake hands with losers at the end of each series in a manner that is not customary in most sports, save international pro soccer matches, when they actually exchange jerseys.

In the past the Penguins have always seemed to have the Caps number, especially in the playoffs, an irritation that has grown into an unhealthy anger on my part toward the team of my father's home city. I actually start enjoying hockey less because I'm focusing on wishing that teams would lose rather than win--if my team can't get there, why should anyone else? That's just bitter thinking, and in the end it's really not that important, just a diversion in the grand scheme of things.

I realized that through understanding this dynamic that some negative vibes that I have been immersed in at work really don't have to be that way. In my ongoing relationship with my business partners I have developed an unhealthy anger with one of them based on some historic patterns that have developed after working 14 years together. On Tuesday a simple request on his part became a dispute that had me questioning why I was doing this anymore, a sentiment that has entered my mind many times of late. I brought home my unpleasantness to share with my family, a sure way to win more friends and influence people. In the past I resort to getting on my bike to work out this angst, but lately that hasn't been a mechanism to work these things out, for some unknown reason (that's part of the problem). Instead of keeping this bottled up, I decided to write my partner a personal email to air some stuff out. I've always thought that these types of emails are risky, because they could be misinterpreted blah blah blah but this one flowed and felt right, so I hit "send" without regret.

It's as if a new page has turned since Tuesday. Everything is cool now. I realized that the layers of negativity had clouded my perspective and taken out the joy of what I do. Simple things--I haven't been enjoying what I have and have been worrying about what's unimportant.

So the Caps had a great season, went farther in the playoffs than last year, and lost to a better team, who deserves to go all the way. The rest of the playoffs will be incredible.

Go Pens go. Never thought I'd utter those words.